On a dark dessert highway, Cool Whip® in my hair
Warm smell of carnitas rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I smell some sizzling fries
My stomach rumbled -- it needs glycogen!
I just had to supersize
Hostess stands in the doorway, I heard the taco bell
I was thinking to myself, "This could be heaven or calorie hell!"
Then she holds up a Twinkie® and she throws it my way
Creamy filling hits my uvula
Like a fine soufflé
Welcome to the Hostess® Cafeteria
Sugar-coated plates (syrup on your face)
Salad's a disgrace
For any olfactory criteria
Fourteen kinds of beer (one by Richard Gere)
Bagels served with smear
She loves her froyo twisted, with sprinkles she recommends
She got a lot of tall, hirsute garçons she calls "Franz!"
See them push the dessert cart -- sweet Crêpes Suzette!
Some served from a blender, some avec baguette
So I tackled a garçon,
"CHOCOLATE NOW MINE!"
He screamed, "There's some kind of lunatic here lying down on my spine!"
Still got some morsels of tasty créme brûlée
Eat 'em up in the middle of a Skype
With a large latte...
with apologies to D. Felder, D. Henley, and G. Frey