October 15, 2012

On a dark dessert highway

With apologies to D. Felder, D. Henley, and G. Frey.

On a dark dessert highway, Cool Whip® in my hair
Warm smell of carnitas rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I smell some sizzling fries
My stomach rumbled -- it needs glycogen!
I just had to supersize

Hostess stands in the doorway, I heard the taco bell
I was thinking to myself, "This could be heaven or calorie hell!"
Then she holds up a Twinkie® and she throws it my way
Creamy filling hits my uvula
Like a fine soufflé

Welcome to the Hostess® Cafeteria
Sugar-coated plates (syrup on your face)
Salad's a disgrace
For any olfactory criteria
Fourteen kinds of beer (one by Richard Gere)
Bagels served with smear

She loves her froyo twisted, with sprinkles she recommends
She got a lot of tall, hirsute garçons she calls "Franz!"
See them push the dessert cart -- sweet Crêpes Suzette!
Some served from a blender, some avec baguette

So I tackled a garçon,
He screamed, "There's some kind of lunatic here lying down on my spine!"
Still got some morsels of tasty créme brûlée
Eat 'em up in the middle of a Skype
With a large latte...

with apologies to D. Felder, D. Henley, and G. Frey

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